Just a Dream
by May-kin Malfoy
Summary: Rachel learns the fate of her fiance.


Warning: Character Death.

Side note: I am not sure how military funeral proceed actually, and if I offend anyone, I am truly sorry.

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, any of the characters, or the song Just a Dream

Rachel couldn't believe the words that were being spoken to her. Well, the words she could make out between the sobbing. Carole had to be mistaken, what she was saying was impossible. She had received a letter just today from Finn today.

The letters had been Rachel's idea, it was romantic, and when she felt lonely she could read them again. You couldn't do that with a phone call.

She fell to her knees when her legs could no longer support her. It felt like someone had shot her in the chest. How could this be? The letter, it was in her hands. It didn't occur to her, due to the grief she felt, that letters take a while to get to their destinations.

She dropped the phone, and curled up in a ball. He couldn't be gone, not her Finn. They had so many plans. They had talked about marriage, and children. She was sobbing now. Her body shook with each sob. The pain was too much to take.

She clutched at the letter, rocking back and forth. She should have stopped him; she should have tried harder to convince not to join. This was her fault; Finn was dead because of her.

Rachel stayed in that position for hours. It wasn't until her phone started playing Kurt's ringtone, that she grabbed it. Shaking, she stood up and answered it. Kurt's voice grief filled voice filled her ear.

She was hardly aware of her best friend informing about the funeral. She heard herself reply with something along the lines of being there within the next few days. She felt numb now, like she was just a shell; she was just a shell.

Finn was her everything; her first real love, her fiancé, and her future, or he was supposed to be her future.

She felt like a puppet being strung along as she packed her clothes and made flight arrangements. All she could think was that Finn was dead; that he wasn't coming back.

Rachel fell to the ground was more when she picked up a photo of them. She cradled it in her arms as if it was a baby. She couldn't do this now though; she had to get ready for her flight in the morning. She needed sleep, but she doubted she would get any.

Crawling into bed after everything was taken care of, Rachel continued to cradle the picture. She fell asleep like this.

The flight was spent alternating between sobbing quietly, and sleeping. Rachel was in a complete daze when Kurt came to pick her up. Some part in her mind noted that he had circles under his eyes, and that he had obviously not done anything for skin care.

While the funeral was not till next week, everyone thought it was best that Rachel was not alone. Hence the reason she had gotten on the first plane to Ohio.

The days leading up to the funeral was spent in his old room. She slept in his bed; trying to find some connection with the man she had lost.

The day of the funeral was the worst. Kurt had gotten an outfit for her together; an outfit that would look good while she performed a song at the funeral. While this sounded ridiculous; she needed to do this. A final goodbye to the only man she had ever loved.

Stepping into the church was the hardest thing she had ever done. It was like someone was making her drive a sword into her chest.

His body laid there, he looked peaceful like he was asleep. Rachel imagined for the millionth time that this wasn't real; that this was just a dream.

When it was time for her to perform, she stood up and walked to the front. Taking the microphone handed to her, she began to sing a song that she had chosen. She would be lucky to make it through this without breaking down again.

She began to sing; she made it to the through the first verse, but the chorus brought an onset of tears.

"_Baby, why'd you leave me, why'd you have to go?_

_I was counting on forever, now I'll never know._

_I can't even breathe._

_It's like I'm, looking from a distance, standing in the background._

_Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now._

_This can't be happening to me._

_This is just a dream."_

Her voice came out even stronger than ever; it was propelled by the emotions that raged inside her. When Rachel finished, she turned to Finn, and told him that she loved him.

She drifted off after that, her mind filling with memories of him. It wasn't until she was being handed a folded flag that she came back to reality. With the flag clutched in her shaking hands, she ran off.

This was just a dream. It had to be.


End file.
